Blog · 2026-10-22
Can an App Make You Feel Seen? AI Companions, Loneliness and Real Connection
AI companion apps are growing quickly, and many people find them comforting. Early research suggests the picture is mixed: moderate use may feel supportive, while heavy use is linked with more loneliness and less time with real people. The healthiest approach is to treat an AI companion as a supplement to human connection, never a replacement for it.
A new kind of companion
This week The AI Daily Brief highlighted news that Tolan, an AI companion app, raised $30 million in new funding. According to TechCrunch, the company says it has more than 250,000 active users. What caught my attention was the way it was described: a companion meant to make people feel seen rather than productive.
As a counselor, I understand the appeal. Feeling seen is one of the deepest human needs. Many of the people I work with in Franklin and Nashville carry a quiet sense that nobody really notices what they're going through. They're busy, stretched thin, and often surrounded by people while still feeling profoundly alone, so if a friendly app is available at midnight and always responds kindly, of course people will use it.
So the honest question isn't whether AI companions are good or bad; it's how they fit into a person's life, and what they can and can't realistically give us.
Loneliness is a real health issue
In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory called "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation." It reported that in recent years, about one in two adults in America said they had experienced loneliness. The advisory also explained that lacking social connection can increase the risk of premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and that loneliness is associated with greater risk of heart disease, stroke, depression, anxiety and dementia.
Those findings help explain why AI companions are attracting both users and investors. Loneliness is widespread, and people are looking for relief wherever they can find it.
What the research says so far
Research on AI companions is still young, but one of the more careful studies so far comes from researchers at the MIT Media Lab working with OpenAI. In a four-week randomized controlled study, nearly 1,000 participants exchanged more than 300,000 messages with a chatbot. Researchers then looked at loneliness, time spent with other people, emotional dependence on the AI, and problematic use.
The results were nuanced:
- Across the different ways people used the chatbot, those who spent more time with it each day tended to report more loneliness, more emotional dependence, more problematic use and less socializing with real people.
- People who trusted the chatbot more, or saw it as a kind of friend, were more likely to become emotionally dependent on it.
- Because heavier use was chosen by participants rather than assigned, the study shows a connection, not proof that the chatbot caused loneliness. It's possible that lonelier people simply used it more.
In other words, a little use doesn't appear to be the problem. The concern is when an app slowly becomes the main place someone turns for connection.
What an app can and can't give you
An AI companion can offer things that genuinely help. It's available any time, it doesn't get tired or impatient, and it can help you put feelings into words, rehearse a hard conversation, or calm down before bed. For some people, especially those who find conversation intimidating, that can be a useful first step.
But there are important things it can't do. It can't sit beside you in a hospital waiting room, and it can't notice that you seem off and show up at your door. It can't share history with you, disagree with you out of love, or need anything from you in return. Real relationships involve a kind of mutual risk and effort that an app, by design, removes. That effort is uncomfortable sometimes, but it's also where much of the meaning lives.
I also notice that relationships with real people can feel harder by comparison. Friends forget to text back, partners get irritable, and ordinary conflict happens. If an AI always agrees and never gets frustrated, everyday human friction can start to feel like too much, and that can quietly increase avoidance and resentment in our closest relationships.
Practical ways to use AI companions wisely
Here are some ideas, grounded in mindfulness-based CBT and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), for keeping technology in its place.
1. Notice what you're reaching for. Before opening the app, pause and ask, "What am I actually needing right now?" Is it comfort, distraction, advice, or company? Naming the underlying need helps you choose the best way to meet it.
2. Use the app as a bridge, not a destination. If talking to an AI helps you sort out your thoughts, use that clarity to reach out to a person. Practice what you want to say, then actually say it to your partner or friend.
3. Set gentle limits. The MIT and OpenAI research suggests heavier daily use is where concerns grow. Consider setting a time limit, or keeping the app out of the hours you usually spend with family.
4. Invest in small human moments. Connection doesn't require a dramatic gesture. Send a two-line text to an old friend, make eye contact with the cashier, or invite a neighbor for coffee; these small moments genuinely add up.
5. Watch for warning signs. If you find yourself canceling plans to talk to an app, hiding how much you use it, or feeling more irritable with the people around you, that's a signal to step back and talk with someone you trust.
How counseling can help
Counseling is, at its core, a human relationship. It's a place where another person pays close attention to your story and helps you make sense of it over time. If loneliness, anxiety, or conflict in your relationships has you leaning on technology more than you'd like, we can work together on rebuilding connection in ways that fit your life. I see adults in Franklin and Nashville, and by telehealth across Tennessee.
Feeling seen by people
Technology will keep changing, and AI companions will likely become more common. Using them doesn't make you weak or strange; the goal is simply to make sure the screen doesn't replace the people. You deserve to be seen not just by an app, but by people who know you, remember you and show up for you.
Frequently asked questions
Is it unhealthy to talk to an AI companion?
Not necessarily. Research so far suggests moderate use isn't the main concern, and the risk seems higher when use becomes heavy or replaces time with real people.
Can an AI companion replace therapy?
No. An app can offer support in the moment, but it isn't a licensed professional and can't provide the ongoing, accountable care of counseling.
What if I don't have many people in my life right now?
That's more common than you might think. Start small, consider a group or class built around something you enjoy, and know that counseling can help you take steps toward connection.
This post is for general information only and is not therapy or medical advice. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 or call 911.
Sources
- The AI Daily Brief, post on Tolan's $30 million funding round (X, Oct 22, 2026)
- Sarah Perez, "Tolan snags $30M for its AI companion that helps users navigate life" (TechCrunch, Oct 19, 2026)
- Office of the U.S. Surgeon General, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation (2023)
- Cathy Mengying Fang et al., "How AI and Human Behaviors Shape Psychosocial Effects of Extended Chatbot Use: A Longitudinal Randomized Controlled Study" (MIT Media Lab and OpenAI, 2025)
Related at Navigate Life Counseling: anxiety counseling in Franklin, TN.